Jøhnny Fävòrítê (johnnyfavorite) wrote,
Jøhnny Fävòrítê

vapor trail

About ten days ago, Steph and I went to a nearby pizza place we hadn’t been to yet. We’re trying to eat at every neighborhood restaurant at least once. Three or four hours later, I was violently sick. Took me 14 hours or so, but I finally vomited up every last bit of that pizza, and then some. I’ve never been that sick in reaction to food in my entire life. I didn’t feel like eating anything for another 24 hours after that, and I may never eat pizza again.

It was certainly no fun at the time, but on the whole, it was an interesting experience. I was SO sick that I felt like I wasn’t part of the world anymore, more like I was observing it from an oblique angle.

When I think about who I was in my twenties, I come up with:


* much better listener than anybody that age had a right to be

* healthy intellectual curiousity

* near-infinite attention span

* able to master anything I set my mind to


* quick to anger

* unable to negotiate the world

* crippled by lack of positive role models

* often incapacitated by emo fits over absolutely nothing at all

* small negative things often overreacted to

When I think about who I am now, I come up with:


* still a good listener, but most people my age are, duh

* very long attention span, not often put to use

* finally able to keep my poor social skills from affecting others much

* able to negotiate the world, for the most part

* near-constant inner peace I never thought I’d achieve


* intellectual curiousity more or less dried up

* small negative things often overreacted to

* inability to care about a bunch of details I should care about

* still not doing a whole lot with my potential, dammit

There’s a big tangle of cables in the living room surrounding the cable modem and my wireless router. It’s been like that since I moved in. I just can’t make myself care enough to make it pretty. And I still haven’t bothered to set up the stereo. My 25-year-old self would be horrified.
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