Jøhnny Fävòrítê (johnnyfavorite) wrote,
Jøhnny Fävòrítê

planet earth is blue, and there’s nothing i can do

why my ability to drive to new places is an almost perfect zero:
  • i have no sense of direction.
  • i have no short-term memory.
  • street relationships — this street meets up with this street here, etc — are not something i am good at processing or remembering. it’s boring and i can’t make my mind commit any brain cells to it.
  • i don’t like making snap decisions, and i don’t think well on my feet. when forced to do so, my brain tries to stall until the situation has passed.
  • other people’s directions assume the usual amount of driving knowledge that most people have, which is not true for me, so i lose the thread almost immediately. plus lack of short-term memory means i can’t hang onto more than the first one or two turns anyway.
this might sound like a minor thing to you, but it has a serious effect on my life. if i hear about some new thing that everybody’s going to, i will bail more often than not, because i’ll almost certainly get lost. i mostly rely on the driving-directions-type sites on the webbernets, but they seem to be increasingly wrong. my workplace had a get-together a couple of months ago, at a house out in the woods. i spent over an hour driving around and i never could find it. the webbernet instructions i printed out were very plainly wrong. that happened to a few other people as well, but they were able to improvise and find the place anyway.

and so it was today. i was trying to find my way to a place i’m thinking about renting. the directions i got from maps.google.com suggested that i “bear right” at one point, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. that was a tiny bit, um, “inaccurate,” if i may be a tad nitpicky, in that what i really should have done was “turn left.” they just plain old flat-out told me the exact 180-degrees-wrong thing to do. having no sense of direction and no memory for street names, i drove five miles out of my way before suspecting that maybe this wasn’t going to get me there after all.

(perhaps you’re remembering an earlier entry i wrote about another place i wanted to rent. those people originally told me i could move in on august 1. it is now august 22, they still haven’t given me have the keys, and have provided no clues as to when that might happen. enough said, i think.)

knowing how i am with driving to new places, i’d given myself over an hour to drive 19 miles, yet i was still 15 minutes late. there was no sign of the woman i was supposed to meet. i called the rental office on my cell phone, all apologetic and stuff, thinking she might have left already. hah. she got behind a wreck or something on the highway. she called me back about twenty minutes later, having made practically no progress.

i decided to wait, because i really like this place. it has a small deck in the back yard, surrounded by trees. i love sitting outside and staring at nature. i took a picture with my cellphone camera, but it didn’t turn out very well.

it was wicked hot today, over 80 degrees. there i was standing around in black pants and a long-sleeved shirt, because it’s always freezing in my office. i watched a kid across the street kick a soccer ball around for a bit. i got a respite from the boredom when a neighborhood cat showed up. he was brown and orange, long-haired, about 80 percent maine coon, i think. after i’d been petting him for awhile, he was drooling all over himself. so cute!

the lady from the rental office was an hour and a half late. that’s got to be some kind of record. she got out of her car, saw me playing with the cat, and got this saucy grin on her face. i think she might have been trying to flirt. she was about 35 i’d guess, dressed very nicely, southern-style hawt. lots of freckles! but me = not capable of fast thinking, and what if i’m wrong, so i didn’t bat it back.

once inside, i discovered that the place was indeed very nice. it’s got three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and huge closets. i like it better than the other place i was trying to rent. i wonder if i’ll be any more successful this time around.
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