Jøhnny Fävòrítê (johnnyfavorite) wrote,
Jøhnny Fävòrítê

charming work moment!

Man, I got nothin'. Well actually I do, but I can't write about it. Yet. I have to wait until my suspicions turn to actual bad things in actual real life. THEN I can stop holding back.

In the meantime, I'm going to tell you a little story from my past. The year was 1992. I'd just taken a job in a Mac development house. This was about a decade before my full-blown Mac epiphany, I was still firmly in the PC camp at that time, because that was before Microsoft had turned totally 100 percent evil. I was hired to help on the company's first-ever cross-platform Mac/Windows product.

Very early on, I discovered that an important part of my job was for the diehard Mac users to buttonhole me as the token Windows user, so they could vent their frustrations at being stuck on an underdog platform. They liked and used Macs because they thought they were better, but were peeved because that put them in the minority, with all the typical crap that all minorities must face.

Here's an example. A Mac guy is having trouble transferring files from a Mac diskette into a format he can inject into the office mail system. Discovering he's close to my cube, he makes a special trip to jab me with "WHY DOESN'T WINDOWS HAVE A WAY TO READ MAC-FORMATTED DISKETTES?!" My trying-to-remain-calm answer: "It's the burden of the fringe platform to provide bridges to the majority platform, not the other way around." Mac guy's response: Evil look, attempting to bore a hole through my head.

One day I was having a hell of a time getting a new expansion card working in my PC. It was part of a hardware development kit, and not the most polished product in the world, so it was trouble getting it to work. I would flip some jumpers on the card, put it in the PC, boot up, no that didn't work either, repeat. I happened to be near yet another die-hard Mac guy, who was getting annoyed by all the boot-up beeping. "Just like a PC," the guy says. "Macs make a nice, pleasing chime when they start up. PCs, it's always with that ugly beep, beep, beep."

Having had one too many encounters like this, I finally snapped.

I said: "There's really no bigots like Mac bigots, are there?" In a sudden burst of inspiration, I started singing "There's No Business Like Show Business" at the top of my lungs, with slightly modified lyrics:

    There's NOOOOOOO bigots
    Like MAAAAAAAAAAC bigots
    Like NOOOOOOOOOO bigots

    Everything about them is REVEALLLINNNNG
    Just how much they can't stand anything ELLLLLLLLSE!!

WAY too loud. I could easily be heard all over the office.

Okay, not great. But I swear, I was making up those lyrics right then and there, on the spur of the moment.

A few weeks later, I got laid off.
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