I am working for the startup again. I gave up most of my equity, but now I’m getting paid. This time around I can afford to overlook a lot of the stuff that bugged me before, because hey, money. I still get a ridiculous amount of leeway in the way I go about implementing stuff, and I still get to work from home. They are not yet giving me enough to cover all my bills, but I’ll take this over a big-company job any day. The money situation will theoretically improve in a few months, if the CEO is successful in wooing VCs and/or angel investors.
Standard corporate IT jobs are not designed for people who are actually good at what they do. Even though the money was great, I’d just as soon never go back to the type of job I had before this, if I can avoid it. Knock wood.
I wrote in an email recently: “I have this fantasy of giving up everything I own except my MacBook, my clothes, and my car. I would feel so pure if I could do that.” True fax.
I haven’t felt like I belonged anywhere since last century. The house I was renting in Miami felt like it was really my home. Since then, it’s been rare for me to even finish unpacking, no matter where I’ve been.
My life for the last decade or so has been a pattern of getting something pretty cool, then rejecting it because it’s not quite good enough yet, then striving for the next big thing. I still have many miles to go before I reach my final form.