Jøhnny Fävòrítê (johnnyfavorite) wrote,
Jøhnny Fävòrítê
johnnyfavorite

halt mich fest

i am full to bursting. so much i can’t say.

didn’t i write a blog entry awhile back, in the first week or two after i started working, about being dismayed that i don’t like all that many people? i never have, and i hoped that might be one thing that would change after my hibernation. well, it turns out i like most of them after all. or the percentages are a lot better than i thought, at least.

there’s a whole department of people in our office that i never interact with. i don’t know most of their names, i’ve spoken with very few of them. but when one of them and i are both in the break room getting coffee or something, i feel a silent kinship with them anyway.

there is one guy at work who i like so much. married, cute little daughter, various scribblings of hers taped up in his office. he has a band he plays in on weekends. he is leading the life i hope to get to, one of these days. (well, minus the office job.) we’ve been trading cds back and forth, once we realized that our musical tastes overlap significantly. i loaned him the gem of my cd collection for guys like him, the heyday. he “got it” immediately, as i was pretty sure he would. we talked about it a few days later, and he had googled up a bunch of information about the band i hadn’t known myself, despite the fact that the embarrassment is from my neck of the woods. he has lived in nashville his whole life, and he told me about the local bands from his youth that served the same purpose for him.

then there’s this other coworker. i like him, he’s outrageous and charismatic, but so, so angry. he started telling me one of his “boy, people sure are stupid, aren’t they” stories over coffee on friday, and i felt overwhelmed. so much i was thinking. how he’s burning himself up with misdirected outrage that is almost certainly better aimed at someone else, how i used to do that myself, all the myriad ways i tripped myself up while on that path. how would i ever get to the bottom of all that?

david’s playlist this month isn’t as good as the one from last month. I KRI I KRI TEER TEER KUTT KUTT KUTT

i have to remind myself to not be so thenthitive.

i try to view accidents, screw-ups, and misfortunes as a refreshing break from normality, and something to learn from. what i’ve been learning from them lately has been mostly negative.

one day last week i managed to get to the office without my id card. in our building, you might as well not exist without your id card. you can’t get into the parking garage, an elevator, or our office without it. i tried calling the one guy who often gets to the office before i do on my cellphone, but he picked that day to sleep in late. so i drove all the way back home to get it.

i told the no-id-card story to the guys in my department later in the day, and they told me various ways i could have gotten by without it. for example, there’s an intercom you can use to call security at the entrance to the parking garage. i listened to all their explanations, and i know they’re right. but i’m not very trusting of humanity, it seems. if it happens again, i’ll stubbornly drive back home and get it.
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