2. every once in awhile, only under the most perfect of circumstances, i can feel myself getting sucked into the vortex that leads to the other world. for a long time, i was far enough off the path to wonder if it would ever happen again.
3. i am going to have to make a big decision soon, which i am not looking forward to. for the first time in forever, my choices will be “good” and “better,” rather than “bad” and “really bad.” i wish i could bifurcate myself and live both lives, going off in either direction. then i could see how both potential lives would turn out, and i wouldn’t have to disappoint anybody.
4. as sad as it is to think, i believe we’ve got the “tough love” god in this universe. he doesn’t much care for you or your priorities. make yourself useful and he might toss you a bone every now and then. otherwise, you’ll just have to go pound sand, pal.
5. i am finding myself strangely attracted to mary hansen, that poor former stereolab member who died while riding her bike, when a truck hit her. after seeing her in the video clips on that stereolab dvd i just got, i find it easier to hear her voice in the numerous tracks she is on. before, she just blended into the background for me. now that i know what i’m listening for, i can always hear her, contributing her sing-song nonsense syllables. it’s oddly comforting. it doesn’t mean anything, the “words” are just a carrier for her presence. her energy is always right there behind laetitia’s, saying: “i’m here for you, laetitia. i support what you’re doing. good job! i like this. we are making a good song.” if i can feel it from all the way over here, i can only imagine what it must have been like for laetitia, when she heard that mary was gone.
6. i wish you weren’t dead, mary. but that’s just me being selfish. there will be no more stereolab tracks with you supporting laetitia anymore. i hope you’re in a better place.