Jøhnny Fävòrítê (johnnyfavorite) wrote,
Jøhnny Fävòrítê
johnnyfavorite

always a bridesmaid, never a bride

i'm at the place where my powerbook, yvette, is on a first-name basis with the local wap, bongo java. the place is once again swarming with apple portables. two white late-model 12-inch ibooks, a 15-inch albook, my 17-inch albook. no pc hardware at all, except for the rental terminal. okay, i'm cheating. last time i was here there was nothing but wintel portables, but i didn't report that, of course. i'm free to create my own world, just like everybody else.

two people on my friends list are in the d.c. area, and they've both written about the awful weather there. sorry, d.c. folks. that's one thing i can't fault tennessee for, we've had nothing but mild winters since i got here. we've had no significant snowfall this year. nobody is wearing coats right now, it's sweater weather.

today i finally got my car registered for the year, two days before my tags expired. i was really stressing over it, i put it off multiple times. forty-five minutes waiting in line at the emissions testing place, then a quick in-and-out at the county clerk's office. not only was there no line, but a person at one of the windows impatiently waved me over. trying to look busy to impress her boss, i guess.

if you'd been reading me during my usenet days, you could have heard the story about what happened when i moved to miami and never got around to getting my kansas tags replaced. they had been expired for four years when the cops finally pulled me over. boy, were they pissed! they towed my kewt little mr2, and i walked the two blocks back home. my car sat in an impound lot for three weeks before i could complete the gauntlet of paperwork necessary to ransom it out. that episode cost me almost a thousand bucks.

so, you might ask, why didn't you register your car, johnny? well, there was this big chain of stuff that had to be done first. my kansas driver's license was expired. since i'd let it lapse, somebody told me i'd have to take a driving test to get a new one in florida, and i also needed a new pair of glasses to get past the vision test. i'd been living in miami for about two years when i got as far as trying to get a new pair of glasses. the optometrist convinced me i really wanted contacts, i hated them, he was snitty about it, that's as far as i got.

i guess that was a graphic display of my level of culture shock at finding myself living outside the midwest. and i wasn't very good at taking care of myself.

i suppose that last entry i wrote was a bit on the snotty side. sorry about that. but it does accurately reflect one aspect of how i'm feeling about what i'm doing. if you're going to be successful at something, you have to get into a mode where you're pretty well convinced that you're right, no matter what, and that you're not going to take "no" for an answer. that's especially true when you're swimming against the tide, as i am now. i have to really believe in myself to keep slogging through a work project without a boss breathing down my neck or deadlines looming. hey students, how much homework would you do if it wasn't due the next day? yeah, that's what i thought.

i know this will work. i've done it before, and successfully launched myself into a job in the bay area, ground zero for the tech industry the world over. that doesn't make it any easier the second time around.

it's really ridiculous how often i've come close to being a five-star bust-out success, then something went wrong. when i was in my early twenties, i was a sound man slash roadie for a local band, and made a few fumbling attempts at recording them. i decided i didn't want to ride in the backseat of somebody else's dream, so i quit. a few years later, one of the guys in that band got signed to arista. there goes my career as a recording engineer. back in the dos days, i was really crazy about a certain famous game i'm not going to name. then i happened to meet the game's author on compuserve. we hashed over some ideas, and he was on the verge of hiring me to write the networking code for his next game. but he was greedy and was always trying to find an angle where he wouldn't have to pay me anything, so i bowed out. there goes my career writing games. shortly after that, a magazine editor got ahold of a shareware product i wrote. he was impressed with my documentation and asked me to write an article on the subject of network coding for games. it would have been free advertising for my product, the sales of which would have shot through the roof. alas, i was starting a new job, and i can't walk and chew gum at the same time, so i blew him off. there goes my career as a freelance tech writer. there was that time when the girl i was dating got some photos of mine printed in the newspaper where she worked, and offered to get me more "stringer" work, if i wanted it. i blew her off. there was the local alternative entertainment magazine i wrote a few articles for, then blew them off.

GAAAAAAH. stop it. i'm depressing myself.
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